well, here we are one week into 2013 and i'm just not posting my resolutions.
maybe i should add procrastination to that list.... anyways 2012 happen. it was hard. but not all of it was. S&H kept me going and they are healthy and awesome and that alone is enough to be happy about 2012. but there sure was a fair share of bad and sad and ugly. but you can't change the past, you can only make it better. right?! yes!
Looking back on 2012, well let's just say that it was a tough year for me. I learned a lot about myself & what I want, & that is to ultimately be H A P P Y. Happiness is a feeling, but finding true J O Y is pure happiness. I have realized that JOY is learning to be content with what I have & not wanting what others have -- or thinking that the grass is always greener on the other side.
i saw this on a blog the other day and i was like what - did someone write this for me? spot on.
i feel like 2013 is going to be a healing/growing year for me.
1. for one i need to come to terms with my divorce. ahhh i can't even type that word without the biggest knot coming into my throat. my eyes start to fill with water. and damnit, i'm crying. the holidays were HARD. harder than i thought they would be. i cried A LOT. and i just hate when people talk about it and whisper the D word. ugh. hate it. i don't know what it's going to take to get the closure i need from all of this, probably a $100 counseling bill or something (ha, not kidding) but i'm praying that i can find it.
2. patience. wow-wee i need to work on my patience. in counseling she told me the four hour rule. let something cool for FOUR hours. if it still bothers me, then take action.
honestly - four hours later a LOT of shit doesn't matter anymore. or at least it's not as bad.
i love this quote nicole - thanks for sharing!!
3. make more cassie time. i wasn't a fan of the nights the kids went to their dad's and i sat at home alone. usually that resulted in crying. or i was constantly on the run doing something. but it has gotten easier and there are nights when i am ok with being at home alone. even if it's cleaning like the wild 26 year old i am. ha.
4. go to church more and teach my kids more about god. stella LOVES to pray. and it's crazy cute. she wants to say the dinner prayer all the time, even if we aren't eating or sitting at the table. and she loves saying alleluia! even though she probably doesn't have idea what it means. lol.
5. and i feeling by doing #4 a lot of good can come. i want everything planned and to schedule and to just work. control freak. i will admit it. but at times i just need to let go. and just let it be. and just let it happen. and the VERY few times i have let this happen, it's been ok.
6. continue doing my best to raise S&H. man i have great kids. wild and crazy at times, yes. but all in all great, amazing, make me happy every.damn.day kids! especially since ms. stella can start three year old preschool this fall. we have teachers to impress here people!!
7. eat better. i am the first to admit that fruits and veggies don't go in this body weekly. unless you consider the lime on my margarita glass or the tomato in my salsa at the local mexican joint. i have recently started being a 47 year old woman and taking a multi-vitamin. ayi yi yi. lol. but trust me that bottle stays HIDDEN in my house. how embarrassing. i'm 26 people. lol. AND everyone is buzzing about the ItWorks greens and i think i need to jump on that bandwagon. watch out body!!
8. bring some funny back to this blog. remember when this blog used to be funny? whew - it seems like forever ago. but i am constantly worried about people who read it and take what they want from it and then run back to tell other people and ayi yi yi makes me laugh just thinking about the small minded people out there. i want to write what i want to write. remember YOU come here yourself. no one makes you. i want to right about REAL things that happen in my life. REAL people in my life. and not be scared that YOU (you know who you are) are mixing it all up. ahhhhh.
9. buy a house. ok patience and god. let's do this. i am putting it in your hands. if the place i want is meant to be, it will still be there when i'm ready. whew - easier said than done!
10. meet more bloggers. this weekend i am meeting the pink growl herself - nikki. and i couldn't be more excited!! i feel like a real blogger now or something. lol.
i'd LOVE to meet Jen. KC and STL aren't that far away missy!!
and miss Sarah! oh i think we could sit and talk for hours!!
this little ole blog has brought me to SO many awesome girls. the bloggers. the followers. the secret readers. any little comment, email, little piece of mail - ahhh they make my day and melt my heart and i love it!
alright 2013 - deep breath - let's do this!